Promises to myself

I promise that I will acknowledge when I kick major ass and forgive myself for the occasional misstep.

I promise that I will honor my body and spirit's needs and not push myself unless I know that to do so will move me further towards my goal.

I promise that I will more carefully evaluate opportunities to make sure they align with my goals and values.

I promise that I will eat ice cream if I damn well want to, but I won't try to shove food down my gullet just to fill some unknown hole.

I promise that I will take charge of my finances once and for all, even if that means seriously buckling down for a year or two to pay off the hideous and evil debt (including the student loans).

I promise that, next year, I will have made more money than last year - and I promise that it will be accomplished without losing sight of my health and well-being.

I promise that I will continue to kick major ass, because I'm damn good at it.

Spring is here!

Okay, so yeah - I haven't been posting here for a while. But things have been going terrifically well - I think spring fever has finally gotten to me, and I've been clearing out all sorts of junk, both emotionally and physically. Not only was I finally able to get rid of some old-relationship baggage I'd been carrying around with me for years, I was able to finish the zen kitchen's website after six months of stalling, I rearranged my office to be LITERALLY 100% more productive (I actually have a reading/sketching/laptop using nook now!), and I've been able to start tearing through the pile of magazines and books that have been staring me in the face for months.

The further upside of all this lovely productivity is that the weather has been wonderful, so I've been forcing myself to get out and enjoy it for at least an hour per day, and that has not only improved my mood, but I've been seeing increased smallness as well!

Okay, so now I have to head out for brunch with my boyfriend, but thanks for letting me fill you all in on this recent goodness!

Getting over something(s)

So, I've been fighting off some mystery illness for about a week now - I thought I had gotten over it with antibiotics, but a whole new crop of nasty popped up. I'm reasonably functional, but I have a dry, sore throat in the mornings, my breathing is strained, and my chest feels like it's filled with rubber bands. Ick Ick Ick.

Part of this, I'm guessing, is emotional.

This has been a time of letting go all around - I realized yesterday (with no particular provocation) that a few of the more questionable relationship choices I've made were still lurking in my psyche, and part of that was due to a "memory box" I kept in my built-in hutch. Much of the memory box was filled with correspondence from friends, Christmas cards and the like, but there were also collections of letters from all three of the toxic relationships that currently won't leave my brain. The e-mails from the man who really really liked me until three weeks in before he started panicking, the letters from the guy who was just plain psycho, an unsent letter to a man I should have left less than a month into a 3-month drama stint. All there, all shoving themselves into my line of vision.

Needless to say, most of the box's contents are now in the recycling bin. They go out permanently tomorrow evening. I slept pretty well (despite a minor fit of restlessness) last night, and woke up in a good mood this morning. And the ick is starting to get better. See the connection?

Getting clearer

This week has been... interesting. Challenging, but interesting.

I realized after a day of being completely useless and, frankly, miserable that, as much as I'd sometimes really like to, I just can't do the after-midnight bedtimes anymore. I wake up too late and feel like a wreck the next day. Part of the late bedtime was due to my own procrastination, as well as my insistance on taking on more during the day than is physically possible (because yeah, I'm Superwoman like that). On Monday, I stayed up until about 2am working on a strategic vision and marketing plan for the zen kitchen, which is a surprisingly exhausting and somewhat scary activity. I'm actually starting to think like a CEO, and being someone who hated corporate in all its incarnations, this is a very new thing for me. So I'm working through it.

Meanwhile, there have been a LOT of positives this week. I seem to be getting smaller again (although I'm not completely sure how), I was able to complete the marketing plan and create a manageable system to market myself each week/month (with actual milestones to track progress), and I'm about halfway done with the tzk mission statement; now I just have to figure out what makes me unique in the marketplace, and start seriously looking at who my competitors are and how I can distinguish myself from them. In the meantime, I have a few new projects trickling in, and a lot of people asking about my services - which is just LOVELY.

That's all to report for now.

Happiness abounds

Okay, so I haven't been feeding myself that well lately (damnable PMS!) but today, I am in the best mood ever. In a meeting with a potential client (where I was more authentically me and truly effective and clear at What I Do than I've been since I started this business), I realized what I'd been missing - it was that authenticity piece, and that chance to bring a truly well-rounded suite of services to the zen kitchen's clients. For the first time since I hung up my shingle almost a year and a half ago, I was able to communicate with clarity and conviction what I am for my clients - a creative problem solver. Someone who can listen to the challenges you're facing in your business and come up with ideas that can help you turn those problems around. And not only can I come up with the ideas, I have the design talent and creative vision to help you solve those problems on every level, from brand design and print/web pieces to new and simple ways to enhance your customer's experience with your brand. I feel so alive and happy now that I want to squee!

All right - must be productive. But I thought I'd share that as a change from my last few days of whining.

Book Review: Hip Tranquil Chick by Kimberly Wilson

In the interest of spring renewal (which involves getting through the pile of books - literally about 2 dozen - that I keep saying I'm "going to read" but never make time to), I picked up the copy of Kimberly Wilson's Hip Tranquil Chick that I had gotten from Amazon oh, say, a couple of months ago.

I have to say, I was fairly well set up by her weekly podcast to know what to expect - a guide to mindful and fabulous living told in a somewhat annoyingly girly style. For me, the language was just too much - it was like Cosmo meets Yoga Journal. That said, if you can get past the sheer volume of pink, leopard print, and kitten heel references (which feel like they happen at least once every 5 pages or so), it's a very well thought-out, easy to read book. It covers the basic principles of yoga in an easy-digestible format that made it that much easier to apply it to my life, and gives ideas for living mindfully, decorating fabulously on a budget, taking ultra-good care of yourself, and taking ultra-good care of others through your work. While a lot of the information you could easily get from other sources, the benefit of the book is that it's compact (only a couple hundred pages maybe), VERY easy to read, and covers all the bases.

So, if you're looking for a quick refresher course on how to create a groovy and tranquil existence (and you want to develop a drinking game wherein you take a shot every time you see the words "kitten heels"), definitely pick up this book.

scheduling drama

So, yesterday, I really did it to myself. Without fully realizing or understanding it, I had booked myself so solid on Thursday that I thought I was going to die - coffee with a colleague at 9:30, followed by a seminar at 1:30, which I had to leave 15 minutes early to participate in a focus group down the street at 3, and then a webinar at 5, followed by a television interview (for an upcoming documentary on Somerville Community Access Television) at 7. Needless to say, I ended up not making a couple of the events - notably the seminar and the webinar. But man, I was still stressed out.

One of the things I'm realizing slowly but surely is how precious my time is - I'm feeling very protective of it at the moment, to the point where I'm almost reluctant to set meetings at all. Which, of course, is not really reasonable - I have to meet with my clients, go to networking events, etc. - but I'm starting to feel a need become much more selective of the events I do attend, and I'm definitely monitoring the amount of volunteer work I engage in.

The things you learn along the way...